Walked Away on Bday

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. So much so that im not enough. He needs a shorter version, a submissive one and a freaky version of me in order to love me completely. He cant find all that in one though, so he has four of us that he loves as if we were one.
It wasn't always like this. There was a time when I alone was all he ever needed. That was when all he knew was the best of me; funny, smart, with no care in the world. Adventurous and supportive, lady in the street and no inhibitions between the sheets. Who wouldn't love such a woman?.
Except im only human and made of more than sunshine and rainbows. That was the trigger. He used to love how I was as sharp as a whip but now it's that im too opinionated, too challenging, too proud. So he found one who would take his words for gospel truth without doubt or question. Because my ambition goes past just dressing up and looking good on his arm he found another to make him look good- publicly. I command and demand respect so he got one more who had laid her self esteem down by the river side. I am flawed but he stuck around and loved me the only way he knows how, with others in tow.
He loves me. He loves me not. Somehow ive always known he never really did. Not when it counted. He loves the version of me he has created for himself. The me that I see myself becoming in the name of compromise.
But does this man even know me? If he did he would know how I cry myself to sleep every night trying to understand how I could have been so wrong. He would know that I know im only still here out of fear of unknowns. The truth is wether he loves me or not is irrelevant because I have not loved him since my last birthday.